ryanpurtill:

Valentines Day is tomorrow and since my amazing charm and classically handsome features are too intimidating for girls to want to go out with me I decided to make my own fun.

I get a table for one in a fancy Philadelphia restaurant and listen in on a couple’s conversation. I wait until the girls drops the guys name like “Oh Mark this place is so nice!”.

Then I wait a few moments and make a b line for their table looking upset. And than in the gayest most effeminate voice I can muster I interrupt their conversation and say “Is this the whore Mark? Does she even know about us??!” The guy will say “What who are you?” and I’ll say holding back gay tears “So that’s how it is huh, you said you were going to tell her about us?”, “I guess that night in the Elks Lounge meant nothing to you!!” Then I say “We are through you jerk and turn to the girls and say “You can have him!!” and run off crying.

It is a great way to make yourself feel better on this lonely day.